Of confusion

I start my day .Five minutes out of the bed- And I am already confused.

Thinking about why life has a purpose.

Two minutes later- “I should pray. Wonder what my creator thinks of me”

A minute later- “Why do people  matter. I hate everyone. Damn ! I miss them. I loved him. Arghhh!”

Staring into the  darkness-“What am I doing with my life!”

Playing with my hair. “OMG, I have split ends. Great. I look bad. My face does not look beautiful anymore. ”

A minute later.

“What face! Anyways when I die, worms will eat it”

“Oh Allah – I better pray. At least for the nur of my face. Great; what thoughts. Allah must be laughing at me”.

Now after posting on this blog like it’s a personal blog, I am writing after fifty billion years. Courtesy my Univerity wi-fi. They even blocked WordPress.

Now there are times when its so hard to decide. When Shaytaan kills you, irritates you. You feel purposeless. Yeah, that happens when I am PMS-ing. Life has so many *such* I feel weird moments. Anxiety- will I get into that university, will that dress fit me, will I get through that interview, will he marry me or not, will I complete that book or not.

Brushing off the anxious thoughts – maybe you can replace them with – How will I answer my creator, fear Allah . If I pray ,I will get through anything.  There are many things. Maybe replace “things” with “people”, many people whom you will lose, miss, ignore. You may miss talking to them, doing things with them. At at the end you know, it was for the best.

#Writer’s Block


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s